Chewing: Not nice post

Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound“.

Seriously, I hate the way my family sounds when they eat. As I write this one family member is sucking on a peach and I want to shove it down her throat. There is no reason to make those sounds. You don’t have to slurp. This makes me angry and I’m told I have a problem in my brain.

I can’t stand my son and step son shoving food in their mouths and I hear every piece of food going in. My grandmother slurps her coffee and gulps so I hear every drop go down her throat. My step daughter bites her fork on every bite and my husband gulps his food and chews so loud I can hear it in the other room.

They wonder why I don’t eat at the table. The sound of the lot of them eating makes me physically sick. I take special care to eat small bites and make no sounds when I eat. No one else can do this????

These sounds annoy and anger everyone though. Don’t they?

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George Constanza: Idea man

Seinfeld is my most favorite show of all time. I have all the seasons on DVD and have watched them (with the notes about nothing subtitles) many, many times. I think it still holds up 20 years later. Except that episode where everyone keeps missing each other at the movie theater, today a cell phone call would end that episode quick. This list is for those who know Seinfeld, really, really well.

Now that Seinfeld is on Hulu, it’s time to visit why:

George Constanza is the great idea man, not so great at following through.  

1. The Opposite. It was Jerry who came up with the idea, but George ran with it. George decided to be calm in traffic, yell at troublemakers at the theater and told George Steinbrenner what he really thought of him. This got him a girlfriend, respect and a job. The only question is, why didn’t he live opposite forever?

2. The Burning. Elaine has a boyfriend whose radio stations are all preset to religious stations. It was George’s idea to do the ‘old switcheroo’ on his stations to see if he puts them back. He does. End of great idea.

3. The Alternate Side. This is one of my favorite episodes because of the scene with Elaine’s boyfriend having a stroke in Jerry’s living room. Also, these pretzels are making me thirsty. But in the beginning of episode, Jerry’s car gets stolen. George told Jerry to call his car phone. Doesn’t get his car back in this episode, but still a great idea.

4. The Nap. Who doesn’t like a good nap? George sleeping under his desk. Genius! Until it went all wrong. All George had to do in the first few seconds of realizing his boss was in the room was to pretend to drop something on the floor. The idea started great, ended up with a bomb diffusing robot destroying his desk.

George lies every moment of his life, but sometimes he tells the truth.

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Church

I have been going to church since I was 5 years old. We attended a huge church with a lot of old people. I was baptized at 7 or 8 and didn’t know what was going on. Church has always confused me.

God was easier to understand. Be good, be nice, obey your parents. If you get sent to a lion’s den and pray to God you will be safe. If you fight a giant for God, you will defeat him. I think that is what I learned when I was a kid. I used to talk to God, told him out loud, about my day and what my troubles were. My mom heard me one night and told me to shut up and go to sleep. I stopped talking to him after that.

We moved a lot because my dad was in the Navy. When we lived in Italy, we attended church in my elementary school. I liked going because I had a crush on a boy who was 3 years older than me. His name was Keoki and he was beautiful. I was also allowed to sing. The first time I sang for the church it was a duet with my friend. My dad told me he didn’t know I could sing. I had been singing around the house for years.

When we moved to Maryland and I was in middle school, my parents stopped going to church. I started going to a Baptist church with my friends. Their dad thought I was a bad influence because my parents didn’t go to church. I surprised him when we played Bible trivia and I won. I can’t remember the church services but the youth group was great. We even went to Ocean City.

We moved to Germany and no one was interested in church anymore. Sundays were considered Family Day. We went on walks and played board games. My sister and I were not allowed to go anywhere, only with family.

When I met my now husband, our first date was Bible study. It was weird, but nice. His dad is a Bishop and he grew up in church. I grew up in a Lutheran church and dabbled in Protestant and Baptist. The Baptist church was a ‘white’ Baptist church. My husband is black and the church he took me to was Pentacostal. When he took me to a Sunday service, I was shocked. People were shouting, running around and being loud. In a Lutheran service, you don’t even clap. I was told that being quiet was not the proper way to praise God. I joined the Praise team; my husband said I sang out of tune so I quit. It was very hard being the only white person in an all black church.

I’ve been attending our church for 9 years and still feel uncomfortable. I’m not going today because my stomach hurts. My husband lets me slide a lot of the time because he sees how the church members treat me. One lady who is an Elder, says ‘hi’ to my baby that I am holding and then ignore me. I get greetings from more people than I used to.  I get more greetings when my husband (who is a Deacon) is sitting with me. For years I got nothing because he was on the drums. I try to say hello and have conversations. I get interrupted a lot. I will be having a conversation and someone will need to talk to the person that I am talking to and that person will cut me off and run off. It’s very rude.

This summer the Pastor put my husband and I in charge of VBS. I have ten tons of things to do but I agreed because I like putting lessons together. (I’m going to school to be a teacher) VBS went great, now I’m part of Children’s Ministry. I don’t remember signing up. I thought maybe they were shorthanded and needed me so I agreed to teach classes on Wednesday nights. It turns out they have like 8 people. They say this is my calling. All I know is I’m tired. I’m not even sure I know what I need to know to teach others.

I love God,  my question is how do I get out of self? How do I find time to do all the things I need to do? How do I start a Sunday morning not feeling irritated? It makes me feel bad that I don’t like church. How many excuses can I come up with to skip church?

(This was a serious post, I try to be humorous, but not today. )

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Grandma

I’m a live-in caregiver for my grandmother (my father’s mother) and have been for 5 years. It is not easy. She is 83 and while she has some health issues, overall she’s pretty healthy. Most of her problems are with balance, which is why my family lives with her; in case she falls. Living with grandma has taught me many things, and bless her heart; taught me how to live my life the opposite.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandma. I take care of her because no one else could (or would) and I know if my dad lived in this state, he would do it. So I’m his proxy.

Here are some things I’ve learned from my grandmother:

1. Don’t worry so much. My grandma worries all the time, about everything. Once there was a fire in the state my dad lives in and she was upset. She kept calling him and wondering if he was alright. Oh, the fire wasn’t in his town; it was on the other side of the state. Grandma was worried anyway. The other day she tells me,

“There is a warning the tv told us, there is flooding on the 138 highway.”

Me:”Grandma, we are at home. That doesn’t affect us and we don’t know anyone who is traveling right now”

Grandma:” Well, there’s a warning.”

2. Let the phone ring. My husband has a saying I like to use, “it’s not that serious”. He is right, most things are not that serious, especially a ringing phone.  My grandma will yell at the phone, “I’m coming, hold on” and rush to answer it before it rings 3 times. Part of me understands that she doesn’t get out much so a phone call from a loved one can make her happy. But most of the time, it is someone trying to sell her solar panels and they call every day. She started yelling at them. I wonder why she just doesn’t tell them to stop calling.

3. Try new things. My grandmother has lived in California since the 1950’s. She has lived in her home for around 50 years. I have lived all over Europe and the US. I like to try new things. Once I cooked pozole.  For those who don’t know, it is a wonderful Mexican soup of shredded pork, a broth of chilies,  hominy and add ins like ciliantro and cabbage. I learned how to make it and it was delicious. I couldn’t believe my grandma had never heard of it or tried it. She has lived in Southern California forever! Try some Mexican food, and not Taco Bell.  She had also never heard of elote (corn with mayo, cheese and chilie)  and the corn man comes by all the time. Eat some elote, it’s the best!

I really love my grandma and I love taking care of her.

I asked her once what the craziest thing she had done; she told me it was marrying my grandfather because a man named Jack loved her also. Would love to hear the rest of that story.

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19 Lies I’ve Told Myself

love

nihilisticle

1.  Yeah, these pants still fit.

2.  Probably no one else can smell me right now.

3.  I’ll take care of that later.

4.  I’m smart enough to figure this out.

5.  Symmetrical eyebrows aren’t everything.

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First words

I am many things to many people. I was told by my father that I was ‘born older’, but I’m pretty sure he only got that saying from It’s A Wonderful Life. It is true though. I have always been a giver and more mature than most. Today I am in my mid-30’s, a mom, a student, a teacher of sorts, a wife, a care-giver and overall doer. Sounds stressful? Yes it is. How do I do it? That is what this blog will be about; I will write about my random thoughts on my life. I have lived a colorful life and just because I’m a wife and mother, doesn’t make it any less colorful than it was in my youth.

Why would I read that you ask? Because I am cool. Well, nerdy cool; which I hear is the thing. If Game of Thrones was popular in my teen years, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten beat up. Or maybe I would have; that is a topic for another day.

So who am I?

Coutterhill is my name and I love all things movie, television and baby. But not in the annoying baby way, the interesting and fun baby way.

I had baby fever for the past 3 years and my husband finally gave into me! Yeah!  I now have a 7 month old and he is the best. I also have a 9 year old who is a genius and two step children aged 11 and 13. They are also a topic for another day and that is a doozy of a story.

Continue this journey with me. It will be fun.

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